#There should probably be more
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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packing for a trip is like ok i need 30 pairs of underwear. my entire medicine cabinet. T shirt?
#currently debating if i should leave my fun shoes at home & sadly the answer is yes. i will probably only be wearing my dorky walking shoes#and i dont have the space for more..... 😔😔😔😔😔#trb.txt
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one more one more
same au thing as last time
#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gf nevermind all that#dipper pines#mabel pines#bill cipher#billford#implied. so why not. probably should have tagged the other one with it since that was more explicitly the ship lmao#this freaky thing in my house is saying weird things and acting unwell. get it out of here#m.png
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)
Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late
#just pretend I posted this like 6 days ago 😁👍#<-got distracted#sorry I’m Afflicted with The Curse and everything just takes me a long time#also right now I’m just kind of being experimental with my workflow and style right now so stuff is just naturally taking a bit longer#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#myart#anyway my new years resolution is to put more WOMEN in SUITS and MEN in DRESSES#had fun drawing this but still not too sure about the rendering style just yet. probably just gonna keep playing around with shit#IM DOING IT SCARED but im DOING IT#im also still trying to figure out how to Social Media#am i doing it right#GRAAAHHHHHHH I NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND FORMATTING POSTS#i have a more serious mouthwashing piece in the works but wanted to get this done first lol#honestly I have a buncha sketches I should post too#i like them but they’re not really composited very well if you catch my drift. been having trouble with sketch page layout recently#which is kind of antithetical to the idea of a sketch page but you know how it is with spaghetti#i doodled the others on the side and liked how they looked so i just put some color and basic shading on them#edit: realized i forgot to change the color of the ‘lapel’ on jims shirt lol
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for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal
before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"
and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"
#the truman show#sbs rambles#I keep thinking about how children on popular youtube channels should probably have laws to protect them#social workers assigned to them maybe#I dunno#they did not sign up to have their lives sold for profit#but here we are#tho#I guess none of us signed up for it#and our data is harvested more than ever#god#high-tech capitalism sucks turns out#OH WAIT because tumblr is bad at getting context sometimes#let me specify:#I am not saying that the movie The Truman Show is bad or that it normalizes this#like all good sci-fi (because it is kind of sci-fi) it's there to warn us of what the future could hold#and it did that in a very good way - it's a beautiful movie#I could see someone with a bad faith take assuming I meant that it was part of the problem#it absolutely wasn't. it didn't normalize this; we did#youtube did and social media#it's us that's the problem#or more specifically: big corporations and a lack of regulation#that's the origin of most modern problems
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#werehog gifs be upon you#sth#my gif#werehog#sonic#sonic unleashed#sonic the werehog#i make a lot of gifs for myself and should probably get in the habit of posting them more. ah well
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Abby finally meets FNAF game Michael Afton
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#michael afton#abby schmidt#mike schmidt#fnaf#sister location#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#you can’t not convince me that Abby wouldn’t think Michael is super cool#Abby is fearless she shrugs off most strange things#Mike should of seen that coming honestly BAHA#she’d definitely overwhelm Michael with all her questions tho#Michael was probably more nervous due to his track record with younger siblings 💀#he’ll do his best though 🙏🏾#Abby get another brother and is hyped about it BAHA
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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Being jurgen leitner the day that gerry almost killed him was probably really surreal. Imagine you’re minding your business, collecting fucked up books, and out of nowhere this goth guy covered in eye tattoos shows up and beats you half to death, then stops, goes, “no you’re too pathetic to be jurgen leitner” and leaves without further elaboration. And you dont correct him, you like being alive after all, and after that you just… continue with your life. And then several years later you tell this to some random guy in the tunnels you’ve been hiding in, and he not only knows who the goth was, but seems somewhat fond of the goth. And then you get brutal pipe murdered by the random guy’s boss. Oops
#the magnus archives#tma#jurgen leitner#gerry keay#jon sims#elias bouchard#on an unrelated note#i think leitner was probably of the eye if he was of any of the fears#the eye is kind of the perfect symbiote#plus i feel like going ‘oh hey cursed books. im gonna find more!’ is so eye coded#not that im saying eye avatars have poor self preservation instincts or anything#(this is exactly what im saying)#the motto of the eye should be ‘i fucked around and found out’#not that ‘audio opperior vigilo’ stuff
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I see so many people starting to use Threads as a way to escape Twitter and yes, it's owned by Facebook's CEO and giving Facebook the monopoly of social media is bad but I think we should also talk about the fact that, you know, Threads isn't avalibe in the EU for privacy reasons????? That should be concerning to EVERYONE
#twitter#threads#just so there's no confusion: Meta is the one that isn't gonna release Threads to the EU#This is because they're afraid it won't pass GDPR#You should probably be aware the Facebook has recently gotten a fine of $1‚2M+ for breaching GDPR#So Meta doesn't want to try their luck. Since they don't seem to want to change how their app works#they are gonna wait until the EU confirms this#although it's pretty clear they are getting more data than they should
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heartblood
#artists on tumblr#blood#organ#the first one is actually a redraw of an old piece#from 2019#i should do redraws more often honestly#there were some cool concepts#that i didn't have the skills to execute back then#i hope years from now i'll look at my art from today#and think the same#i want to keep growing for as long as i live#becoming the best artist i can be#it often feels like it'll never be enough#like there's artists of such incredible unreachable skill#but then i remember almost all of us feel that way#those artists probably too
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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My hottest Arcane take is that a lot of caitvi antis come across as complete wimps whose only exposure to lesbian couples are kids cartoons and vanilla yuri manga. Like I’m fairly certain half an episode of Killing Eve would instantly make these people pass out if caitvi of all ships is their limit for fucked up relationship dynamics. Please I am begging you watch/read more lesbian media made for adults, there’s an entire world out there that you’re missing.
#this isn’t a diss at the yuri genre btw I fucking love it#I’m just saying if your lesbian media diet exclusively consists of fluff meant to target a demographic of 14 and under#you should probably expand your horizons a bit more so you’re not scandalized by slightly spicy dynamics#caitvi#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#arcane#killing eve
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A fun little possibility for a Legend's game :)
#I get you grass/dragon Serperior believers but I find this possibility to be a bit more fun in my opinion.#We haven't gotten a fairy secondary type starter since Popplio so this would be fun to have#They'd probably have some 'purification' ability that nullifies their poison weakness or smth#I should work on the color scheme. They look too similar to Rayquaza.#my art#pokemon#Serperior
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Cute wholesome fics where Stan teaches Soos or Wendy how to drive were always so funny to me because...
And while he insists that everyone in town has ran over McGucket before, we also know he ran over Toby too and absolutely did not give a shit (understandable in that case)
But then again...
Also bless Mr Honeypants
And another detail I love is that his car is casually filled with parking tickets
How many tickets are in Ford's name...
#i like to think that ford also sucks at driving#and that dipper and mabel are technically the best drivers despite only using golf carts#the bear scene always gets to me#him spending decades avoiding the town's weirdness while also being as weird as the rest of them#the coloring book page probably doesn't count as canon but i still love it#stan pines#stanley pines#soos ramirez#wendy corduroy#gravity falls#dipper pines#disclaimer: i do believe he taught them. i just think the stories should be framed more as a 'wHAT HAS HE UNLEASHED UPON THIS REALM'#stan: if you respect road laws and don't seek to break them at all times then you're dead to me#how did his car survive for over 40 years#oh for mr honeypants to casually still be in show after his debut....#also never forget about the golf cart short#it's dear to my heart#'remember kids always wear your seatbelt when driving your car into a ravine!'
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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